Miley Cyrus at it again (Nude in music video)

Okay! It's official people! Miley 'Hannah Montana' Cyrus is on a mission! If I may take a guess, i'll say it's to completely remove any ideas as to whether or not she's 'grown'.
After her display at this year's VMA's, and all the notoreity that came with that performance, one would think that she or her advisors/record label/management would ask that she slows down; Instead she answers back with a video that shows her quite nude to her track - Wrecking Ball.

This video is bound to have some parents wreck the tvs or computers of their kids found watching it, and need I mention turning some balls blue..lol. I honestly have nothing against this style of marketing/publicity, even though I must say that it's a very bold move on her part.

Watch the video below..

Pity my Hashtag...

Hi guys,

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you would by now already know how much I hate the hypocrisy in Nigerians. We are a nation plagued by people who want to look good even when it doesn’t make sense.

I write this because of the recent social media ‘pity party’ upsurge. 

In the past two months, we have been constantly hammered by all kinds of media, especially audio, visual and the internet to donate money to help save lives. First it was Rhythm FM, Abuja’s OAP – Kachi; then it was #SaveFunmi and even more recently the #SaveDebbie movement.

I am not against trying to save a live, but what I would rather do is SAVE LIVES!! We heard about Kachi because of his ties with Rhythm, Funmi because she is an aspiring wig from the great Unilag, and thanks to the ‘twitter celebs’ like @GossipGirliee and @TwitterOracle who have decided to ride Debbie’s bandwagon. The question here is after all these Millions of Naira have been raised and utilized – WHAT NEXT??

Would those monies guarantee these people a better life? Would they live longer than the rest of us? Would they get a stable means of sustenance after their operations? Would they even survive the operations? When they are done with the operation, would we start a #FEEDTHEM movement again for them to survive?

I love life. I love people, and I have a very big heart, but what causes my heart to ache is the fact that we turn our backs on ourselves until it feels good to do good, or when we can do good under the bright lights. If all these artistes and celebs were earlier contacted to donate towards A CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL, A STATE OF THE ART DIAGNOSTIC CENTRE OR A SUBSIDIZED DRUG STORE, would they be this eager to drop large amounts of money??

All we do is wait till our birthdays, album launches, or when we’ve got a camera crew following us around before we do good. We really don’t have to wait till ONE person is in critical need before we do good, when we can SAVE THOUSANDS by acting on time.

Let’s all join hands to change this trend, let us think about ALL the people who don’t know about twitter, who can’t get to radio and who don’t have as many friends in high places; those are the people who really NEED our help. I just dropped my 2 Cents; it might seem harsh but deep down you know I speak the truth.

OMG!

No guys. I am not reviewing Usher’s song/video; that would have happened a long time ago.

All I want to do is educate the guys on how to spot a ‘faker’ – an excitement faker (get your minds out of the gutter).  When I say an excitement faker, I’m simply referring to that babe who seems to be awed, amazed, stupefied by EVERYthing you do or say.

The OMG movement has become so popular that every time something nice or super cool happens, it has to be an OMG moment. After my research, I have reached this conclusion.

Oh my God! – Real

OH-MY-GOD! – Real

Oh my days! – Real (for butter babes)

Oh my gosh! – FAKE!!!

Any girl that says ‘Oh my gosh’ to me is joking if she thinks she has successfully bought me over. If you doubt this, try it out yourself. Get your girl a random gift and be ready for an ‘Oh my gosh’ moment; get her that shoe she always eyes whenever you go to the mall and be ready to hear all the ‘Oh my Gods’ you can take.

Get her in front of that celeb that all her friends thinks is cute – ‘Oh my gosh’. Let that her hunky neighbour take off his shirt to play street football – ‘Oh my God’. It’s simply a Naija girl thing.

WTH!! Biggest Realest boobs ever..!

She is rumoured to have the biggest breasts that are not surgically enhanced. Enough said.

Are Wizkid and Karen Igho involved?

This picture was taken at a recent event in the city of Lagos. With all the gist about Wizzy and Tonto Dikeh, can we say he has 'freed' the tattoo geh for Winner of the 2011 Big Brother Africa Amplified, Miss Karen Igho? Anyways, we shall wait...lol

Internal 'Subsidy' Memo (LMAO!!)

TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES

Due to the increase in fuel price, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below.

1. The kitchen and all gantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from me upon submission of written request.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed! 

3. Such food items as rice, pounded yam, chicken, fresh fish, cornflakes, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days’ notice, giving justification backed by a qualified dietician's report.

4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons. There shall be only twelve toilet rolls for the year, that is one (1) per month. 

6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependents shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

7. No dependent shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8. No one is allowed to switch on the Gen for any reason whatsoever; Emergency shall require express permission from me only.

9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more must submit written application in triplicate and give two months’ notice, with an endorsement from their Village Head or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes / hotels.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING with immediate effect AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!

Signed: HEAD OF THE FAMILY.

BB Etiquette.. Part 1

Hi guys!

                There is no denying the fact that the Blackberry smartphone has taken over the phone/smartphone markets along with, well, most of our lives. The attachment most people have for their ‘BBs’ is quite ridiculous. A necessity it is for some and an indulgent habit for most.

                I have a couple of reservations about the way it has shaped our lives and the way most people (Nigerians especially) have created virtual lives out of a mere communication device. Below, I have permitted myself to vent..

• Broadcast messages:

                Why would you have a car and complain when a ‘rubber’ tire bursts? Why would you buy an air-conditioner and then complain that it makes you cold? It is for this very same reason that you buying a Blackberry phone also comes with the risk of a couple of people abusing some of its uses. The broadcast function is one that enables a fellow user send a message to ALL of his/her contacts; so if you happen to be on the contact list of what I like to call a ‘serial BCer’, then too bad.

                This is not enough reason to hate, curse or delete anyone who sends you a BC. How many of you smash your TV screens whenever that very annoying advert comes up? Or how many companies have been put out of business because you think their adverts are shitty? Do open EVERY broadcast message you receive, they might contain some really valuable information (with the exception of those who you have identified as the senders of GOOD MORNING, HAPPY SUNDAY, RAIN IS FALLING, GOD WILL PUNISH YOU IF YOU DON’T DANCE ALANTA IN CHURCH etc.).

• Putting up nude/topless/bum/boob photos as your display picture:

                DO NOT even get angry if you start to get random pings asking about your cup size or if the body parts belong to you. I say do not get angry not because they can’t be very annoying, but because you asked for it. If a lady in her right senses decides to put on a very low cut blouse, then any guy in his right senses can decide to stare at her boobs! It’s a simple case of action and reaction.

                If you keep putting naked pictures on display, do not vex if I ask how much for a night. I do not advocate the crossing of personal boundaries or the excuse of seductive dressing as a reason to rape; but I say like our elders in Nigeria – If you do not plan to eat the food, do not sniff it. If you can handle the onslaught of horny guys whenever you use such seductive pictures or personal messages, then more power to your elbows, but if you can’t, please stop it. You will look like a hooker saying she’s a night hustler when you start to insult a guy who propositions you with a top that barely contains your boobies as your dp.

This is all I am going to touch on right now, the follow up will be out real soon. Please do feel free to visit our facebook page at www.facebook.com/glazegonewild to also add your takes on this particular issue and do not forget to like the page.

Cheers!

Confidence?

Howdy y’all?!

My parents and I happened to be watching the ‘X Factor USA’ last week ago; and my dad kept going on about how much confidence Astro (a contestant on the show) has for a 14 year old kid and I could not help but flip. Every time, Nigerians always compare their kids to their age-mates in the diaspora.

“Michael Jackson started singing at the age of 5!”

“Madonna’s daughter has started designing her own make-up line at 14!”…. Yada yada yada.

I had to tell him that it’s easy for them to say kids abroad have the confidence we so very openly lack in this part of the world due to a structural defect that many have tagged ‘culture’. In Yankee and Jand where they are said to lack cultural values that we so dearly hold to our hearts, they are progressing at speeds unimaginable to us even if we all slept and dreamt the very same dream.

Over there, elders, teachers, household staff etc. are addressed by their names, i.e. Mr Paul, Mrs Paula (formally) and their first names (informally). This is unlike Nigeria, where the mere thought of calling a neighbour you absolutely have no relations of any sort with ‘Mr or Mrs’. You will be castigated as a child who is full of pride and absolutely no respect for anyone.

It is so crazy that even in an official setting; I cannot in my capacity as the boss properly scold an erring driver, gateman or subordinate who is older than I am without becoming the devil that wears Prada. I do not understand how in a country/culture that any, and I mean ANY random person can send you on futile and useless errands just because they are older than you, a child is expected to have confidence.

The confidence that probably would fetch you the ass-whooping of your life, when that ‘aunty or uncle’ that bears that title only because he comes from the same geo-political zone as your mom or dad or he/she owns a shop on your street reports that sole act of insubordination to your parents. The confidence that has been sucked by parents and teachers who would do wrong and punish us for questioning such actions.

The very confidence that we have been brought up to lack, even when the requests of these so-called elderly people are discordant with logic. This same FEAR for elders which we have been raised with has caused woe, sadness, absolute sorrow and even death to the families of those little girls that have been raped because an‘UNKU’ sent them on an errand, the young boys that have been kidnapped because their teachers told them to wait behind after school, or the men/women caught with drugs or body parts because they had too much respect for the ‘elder’ that gave them the package, that they could not even ask what it was they were transporting.

The respect that has seen many dreams die with their owners because they didn’t in their prime, have the audacity to question or alter the ideas of a boss or superior who probably had nothing to offer.

Kim Kardashian slept with Kanye?!

Did Kim Kardashian allegedly sleep with Kanye West weeks after her break up with Reggie Bush?! Amber Rose, Kanye West’s ex spoke with Wendy Williams and riled up the rumor mill when she didn’t deny an affair between West and Kim K. Amber was long considered the brief rebound girl for Reggie Bush following his break up with Kim but the rumors were never confirmed. Wendy Williams found a way to get the truth – and it wasn’t hard.

Without explicitly stating they did the “do”, Amber rose instead called their brief romance, “nice”.

“One thing about me is that I’m not a home wrecker. I would never date a man that’s in a relationship or a married man. I just wouldn’t do it,” she tells Wendy.

“I broke up with Kanye west and he broke up with Kim Kardashian and we met right after. We were both going through a hard time so we were like each other’s rebounds basically. It was brief, it was nice and he’s a great guy.” Hmm…interpret how you like.

And on Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? Amber Rose's reaction was very short of her shouting, Yes!

Its just Glaze asking.. Part 1

1. Does Kenny Ogungbe of Kennis Music realise he is the CEO or he’s simply going through mid-life crisis?
2. Can’t Skuki come up with any other video concept apart from the ones where they are being chased by someone?

3. Where is ID Cabasa?

4. Is it that Naeto C keeps reminding us with every new video he makes that ‘Kini big deal’ was just a lucky fluke?

5. Did Rainbow 94.1 conduct any oral interviews for its OAPs?

6. Is DJ Jimmy Jatt still all that?

7. Isn’t the iPad just a big iTouch?

8. Has Terry G finally realised the music business

would do a lot better with him in the background?

9. Can anyone decipher the true meaning of ‘ONANA’? Since Rihanna is screaming it in ‘Whats my name’ and Chris Brown is saying the same in ‘Get back up’.

10. Would KAS have a music career if no one invented ‘Autotune’?

N9.6 Billion... WTF?

Howdy y’all?


I was reading the newspaper yesterday and came across an article on one ‘bros’ who got N9.6 billion richer thanks to a First Bank error. Before you get excited, it becomes boring because the guy returned ALL of it!

I’m a sucker for good *wink behaviour but any one being nice to a bank is messing up the balance because those guys are NEVER nice to you. They cajole, convince, lie and plead to get you to open accounts or take loans from them only to start hounding you around the place. Anyway, the dude who had N3000 in his account went to check his balance and noticed an excess of N9.6 billion. He (a member of the Mountain of Fire church), apparently alerted the bank and lost all that money only to be rewarded by a MUTE and stingy First Bank and the General Overseer of his church – a brand new car, university scholarship and some cash.

Big up yourself dude! It’s an example we all should emulate, but if na me... I’ll return the money o, but not before I buy a solid ride with customized plates boldly carrying the letters C.O.T!

Signs of a Cheating Husband and Infidelity in General...

Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicions, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible.

Have you noticed a:

• Sudden increase in time away from home

• Decreased sexual interest with you

• Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming

• Cheating husband or wife is often “unavailable” while at work

• Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work or wants to go alone

• Cell phone calls from you are not returned in timely fashion

• Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone

• Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly

• Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual

• Mileage on car is high yet he / she reports only short distance errands

• Clothes smell of perfume or cologne

• Cheating spouse gets his / her laundry done independently

• Unexplained payments on bank statements

• Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability

• Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration

• Cheating spouse now has a phone card but never used one before

• Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse

• Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages

• Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed

• Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites

• Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account

• Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages

Everything na double-double..

Howdy y'all?

Totally having a laugh as I'm typing. This particular trend was inspired by a friend of mine. She just came up with questions about why Nigerians like to say most things twice. It got funnier as time went on because we found out that it was so TRUE! What more can I say other than UP NAIJA! we too get mouth...lol.

Examples we came up with:

Mago mago,
Copy copy,
Yori yori,
Kata kata, 
Follow follow,
Lai lai,
Yama yama,
Gra gra,
Tolo tolo,
Bom bom
Sme sme,
Lie lie,
Craw craw,
Wuru wuru,
Shaky shaky,
Moi moi,
Puff puff,
Jedi jedi
Fear fear,
Kalo kalo
Mu-mu,
Kia kia,
Lapa lapa,

Ye-ye,

Pata pata,

Leke leke,

Sharp sharp,

Looku looku,

Waka waka,

Ra-ra,

Chin chin,

Goody goody,

Borrow borrow,

Corner corner...

Please feel free to make your additions by clicking on the comments link right under this post. Cheers!

Why did you make me BLACK?

Also had this sent in by a reader - Jennifer, and it touched me a lot. Enjoy...

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord?


Lord, why did you make me black?

Why did you make someone

the world would hold back?



Black is the color of dirty clothes,

of grimy hands and feet,

Black is the color of darkness,

of tired beaten streets.



Why did you give me thick lips,

a broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare?



Black is the color of the bruised eye

when someone gets hurt,

Black is the color of darkness,

black is the color of dirt.



Why is my bone structure so thick,

my hips and cheeks so high?

Why are my eyes brown,

and not the color of the sky?



Why do people think I'm useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin

and think I should be abused?



Lord, I just don't understand...

What is it about my skin?

Why is it some people want to hate me

and not know the person within?



Black is what people are "Labeled"

when others want to keep them away...

Black is the color of shadows cast....

Black is the end of the day.



Lord you know my own people mistreat me,

and you know this just ain't right....

They don't like my hair, they don't like my

skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!



Lord, don't you think

it's time to make a change?

Why don't you redo creation

and make everyone the same?

God's Reply:



Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?



I made you in the color of coal

from which beautiful diamonds are formed...

I made you in the color of oil,

the black gold which keeps people warm.



Your color is the same as the rich dark soil

that grows the food you need...

Your color is the same as the black stallion and

panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!



All colors of the heavenly rainbow

can be found throughout every nation...

When all these colors are blended,

you become my greatest creation!



Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,

such a beautiful creature is he...

I am the shepherd who watches them,

I will ALWAYS watch over thee!



You are the color of the midnight sky,

I put star glitter in your eyes...

There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...

That's why your cheeks are so high!



You are the color of dark clouds

from the hurricanes I create in September...

I made your lips so full and thick,

so when you kiss...they will remember!



Your stature is strong,

your bone structure thick to withstand the

burden of time....

The reflection you see in the mirror,

that image that looks back, that is MINE!



So get off your knees,

look in the mirror and tell me what you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness...

I made you in the image of ME

And that's all folks!

To kiss or not to kiss?

Howdy y'all!

Okay, as you all know, I've been writing exams and been either too busy or too tired to blog. Anyway, after yesterday's paper was done, I was just chilling outside my faculty with my peeps and a female classmate walked up to us. For some funny reason, she asked how the paper went only to part with, "Ol boy, I need to kiss o. This exam no gree me see my boyfriend".
It got a laugh out of all of us but it made me think about the whole kissing idea, is it over-rated? Everybody for some reason reacts to kissing, being kissed or seeing people kiss.

It could be Goosebumps for the persons kissing,
Envy for the person NOT kissing,
Satisfaction for the one who did the match-making,
Anger for the person who's partner is being kissed by another, 
Excitement for the person dared to kiss,
Shyness for the one kissing for the first time, and
Depression for the person who feels he/she will never kiss...


The thing is, it's hard to understand why the act of locking lips sends so much affection through us (you don't believe me? try kissing someone you've not met before, everyday for a week and see if you won't be seriously attached at the end of that exercise). I personally know a couple of people who are addicted to kissing (even though many of them are very bad kissers...lol). It's so annoying, you hear ladies especially getting angry at the boyfriend or husband who left without planting a wet one on their lips. Na by force? What if he wasn't in the mood? What if he forgot to clean his mouth that morning? What if he took something alcoholic and he didn't want you to know or you don't like alcohol? WHAT IF YOU DON'T KISS? Who's gonna die?
I like kissing too, but when I look at a beautiful lady... The lips are only a starting point..*wink..he he

Listening to 'Ndoli ndoli Prt 2' by H.Man

LWKMD..

You go fear when you see a dude jerking (doing the reject) in Samklef's 'Noni' video...

What’s love got to do with it?

Howdy y’all?


I’ve got exams coming up, so that explains why I’ve been away for a while. It’s not easy when you have so much to do in such limited time.

Anyway, today I’ll be talking about ‘EX’es. Isn’t it funny how much life screws us all? Just when you feel you’ve found the one, you run into an Ex that would have been the one if not for your mistakes or how immature you were in that particular relationship. You start wishing you were taller, slimmer, in school, out of school, in a particular town or country, had more freedom or more money back when you were still dating that person. All of a sudden, your number one now starts looking like the second choice option on your JAMB registration form.

What’s even worse is when you meet an Ex you were really fond of back then in company of your current partner. It’s so not fair on the new person because you’ll be putting them in a very awkward position where they have to smile and act nice to someone they could stick a knife into just because of the way you are acting like a dog who’s owner just got back from a trip. I happen to have a number of former girlfriends and we always parted ways without anyone being hurt (topic for another day); So whenever I’m done acting like an ass when I meet any one of them, I put myself in the shoes of the new significant other person and give myself a mental slap. What’s suicidal is when you find out they have changed addresses and now stay on your street, or they go to the same church as you or they’ve been employed at your place of work and you are their immediate boss – Now, you’ve officially been CHOPPED and SCREWED!

Listening to ‘Daytime friends and night time lovers’ by Kenny Rogers..

I wear my sunglasses at night???

Howdy y’all,


Yeah, I know I’ve been away for a while. It’s just that I’ve been a lil busy. When you live as a dude in Naija, you’ll learn to respect the word ‘hustle’.

Anyway, the topic for discussion today is the disturbing trend that has begun with the influx of sunglasses and shades into the Naija fashion scene. According to the dictionary, sunglasses are eyeglasses with tinted or darkened lenses to protect the eyes from sunlight or it’s glare; So, can someone tell me why some supposedly ‘sane’ people wear sunglasses at night?

Designer shades

It’s a little funny when you step out of a 24-hour store or night club and you see some dude or babe coming at you with a smile and frames that could cover half of their faces including the nose... It makes me wonder if they are trying to be blind to see how it feels. The whole thing just contradicts the sun in sunglasses.

No sun - don’t wear.

Inside a house – don’t wear.

In CHURCH – don’t wear.

In the rain – Abeg, don’t wear.

There is something called ‘Stunna shades’; If you happen to lay your hands on one of those, then maybe you might be allowed bail.. If you remember to take them off in Church and in the rain.

Things we can’t do without

According to a recent survey conducted and confirmed by archieglaze.blogspot.com, it is believed that the Homo-Sapiens in this century would die or find life extremely uncomfortable if most of these under listed items are taken away from them(us)... lol.

 

Portable computers

Coffee - a necessity?

High-speed Internet access

Education

Smart phones

Movies

TV

Music downloads

Pets

Booze

Coffee